


The Shepherd God

by RunWithWolves



Series: 30 Days of Cupcake [12]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Lots of Sheep, inanna's descent, sumerian myth retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8151889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunWithWolves/pseuds/RunWithWolves
Summary: The biggest mistake Sumerian god Carmilla ever made was letting Laura talk her into becoming a shepherd god. It's been thousands of years and she still can't get the blasted sheep to just leave her alone and let her nap in peace in the grassy fields. However, as much as she threatens the sheep with the idea of sheep-stew, they all know that she'd never actually do it. After all, when her mother almost ruined anything, the sheep were the only ones who get could goddess Laura to smile.
Now Laura is her wife, Inanna is safely put away, and they're working their way towards happiness, despite the sheep. And despite a sword that won't stop sending warning signals.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, the image of carmilla surrounded by sheep is hilarious to me.   
> But also, I really wanted to do something that still used the canon characters but was much much closer to the original Sumerian poem "Inanna's Descent". This turned into a weird mash-up.

The sheep were following her again. Carmilla scowled at the fluffy creatures but they simply gave a gentle baa and continued to trot at her heels, an entire herd moving as one across the grassy plain. She rolled her eyes and kept walking, picking up her pace to try and leave the sheep behind. 

Perhaps if she just ignored them. 

They just walked faster. 

This is what she got for somehow letting Laura coerce her into being a shepherd god. Thousands of years later, she was still trying to outrun the sheep. She’d been a queen once. Now. Just the sheep were left. One fluff bucket managed to maneuver itself in front of her and Carmilla nearly tripped, trying to avoid crushing it. 

“River. If you do that again, I’m going to cook you for dinner.” Carmilla said, glaring at the sheep. It baa’d at her. Carmilla scowled, “I don’t care what Laura thinks.”

River Song the sheep just rubbed against her thigh, unperturbed. 

Carmilla rolled her eyes, scratched the sheep’s head quickly, and started walked again. Sheep following. A heavy weight jostled against her hip and Carmilla’s fingers itched to pull the sword from it’s place in its sheath. She fought the impulse. She didn’t need it. Not anymore. Still, the blade thrummed with magic as though it disagreed. 

As though her mother could somehow come back. 

Instead of touching the sword, her fingers clenched tighter to the shepherds crook in her hands. From the corner of her eye, she noticed that Spike had drifted too close to the river again. Huffing, she used the wooden hook to pull the sheep back from the rushing water. 

“I am not wading in there to get you again,” Carmilla said. 

He baa’d. 

Carmilla rubbed the center of her forehead but the headache didn’t disappear until the moment she reached the top of the grassy incline and the cottage came into view. Larger than the outside would appear, the wooden walls and tiny garden were alive with colours of every sort. Each carefully placed and delicately cared for.

Sometimes she wondered if there wasn’t a little flower goddess in Laura after all. 

Instead, she came home to the same sight she always did. Laura was curled up on the wooden garden swing with a pencil jammed between her teeth and another in her hand as she scribbled on her paper. 

Pausing at the gate, Carmilla ignored the sheep still crowding around her legs and said, “And here I thought that my lovely wife might treat me to a nice dinner.”

“You can make your own dinner,” Laura peered over the top of her paper, eyes smiling. 

“But I’ve had such a long day walking around with the sheep and napping in the grass,” Carmilla said. 

“Sounds heroic,” Laura deadpanned

River nipped at Carmilla’s fingertips until she scratched the sheep’s head again. “You’d think that for being such a hero, I’d get more attention from my wide-eyed maiden fair.” Carmilla said.

Laura’s voice slipped into a smile, “You are something else, you know that?”

“You could come over here and tell me,” Carmilla purred, “Otherwise, I’ll just have to start on that dinner and I already promised River here that she’d make an excellent stew.”

Laura snorted, “You don’t even know how to make stew.” Regardless, she got up and left her book lying on the swing. As she approached Carmilla, she added, “Besides, I’m sure you get into all kinds of trouble in those fields.”

“Oh, why would I bother making trouble there?” Carmilla said, her fingers skimming over Laura’s arms, “I can do that so much better here at home.”

Cutting Laura’s giggle off, Carmilla leaned in to kiss her. It was slow and soft and warm. Their lips moved smoothly together, the lightest touches before pulling back to brush her nose against Laura’s. Then moving in again. Laura tasted like chocolate and graphite, smelled like sunshine and paper; everything about her grounding Carmilla. She let her palms slide around Laura’s waist, feeling the warmth of her skin through her clothes. Carmilla kissed her again, lazy and happy. 

A sheep rammed in her legs and they broke apart. Carmilla’s scowl never got the chance to emerge as Laura grinned and reached over the small gate to pet the sheep. 

She looked up at Carmilla, “Hey.”

“Hey.” Carmilla said. They paused and Carmilla abstractly had to wonder if they didn’t look like idiots - just staring at each other over the gate and smiling. Surrounded by a herd of sheep no less. 

She couldn’t really bring herself to care.

Then Laura was reaching forward and practically dragging her over the gate. Carmillla struggled not to get stuck on the wood, “Care to explain the urgency, cupcake?” she joked.

When she cleared the gate and looked up, Carmilla’s tongue died and her heart burst into overdrive at the look Laura was giving her. “Well,” Laura said, staying tantalizing out of reach, “I’ve been home alone all day and there are some very non-PG things that I’d like to do to you if only you’d just come inside.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Carmilla said, eyes on the seductive look that Laura was trying to give her, “We’ve got this wonderful porch swing right here. Why go inside at all?” She moved in, intent on pinning Laura to the wooden swing but Laura took a step back.

“Whoa there lady killer,” Laura said, “Not in front of the sheep.”

Carmilla groaned, “They’re just sheep.”

She could see them, perched just outside the gate like a hundred fluffy problems. History said that they wouldn’t disperse for at least an hour. Laura found their devotion to Carmilla hilarious.

Laura narrowed her eyes, “Not in front of the sheep, Carmilla.”

“But-”

“Not in front of the sheep! What would Buffy sheep think?”

She sighed and walked into the house, mumbling, “Just cook the lot of them and-”

Then Laura pinned her to the door and the sheep really didn’t matter.

#

Carmilla was staring into her not-sheep stew, stirring it first clockwise and then counterclockwise. She willed her hands not to shake as she handled the spoon, trying to ignore the call from the sword that she’d dropped on the floor shortly after she’d entered the closet. 

There hadn’t really been time to hang it on it’s hook. The button on Laura’s pants was much more important.

Still, she could practically feel the sword’s magic calling out to her, willing her to take it back in hand and defend from any enemies. From one enemy in particular. Resisting, Carmilla just kept stirring the stew. 

Her concentration was broken when Laura said, “I went to visit Laf today.”

Her grip on the spoon tightened, “Did they open the door?”

“No,” Laura gnawed on her bottom lip and Carmilla’s chest ached at how sad Laura looked. The months that Laura had spent hiding inside her own head, expressionless, peeked out through her eyes. The sword’s call for her to take it up grew. After all, she’d only made the thing because someone had to deal with her mother and Laura, god of poetry and oracles and all good things, had lost the will to try. They’d needed a way to stop her mother and Carmilla had found it. 

It hadn’t been pretty. 

Carmilla reached across the table, grabbing Laura’s hand instead of the sword, “I’m sure they’ll come around.” She said. 

Laura shook her head, “They’re still looking for a way to save Perry. I talked to JP. He’s been helping them a little. When they’ll let him. He said that they don’t look good.” Laura’s fingers entwined with Carmilla’s, “I left some food by the door. Maybe they’ll eat it?”

Looking at Laura was like looking at a sad sheep. All droopy ears and fluffy tail.

“Well, they can’t save Perry without food,” Carmilla agreed. 

Neither of them spoke the obvious. Perry couldn’t be saved. Not without unleashing something much, much worse. 

Carmilla’s mother had come from the sky, brandishing all of her power to take the Earth as her own. Inanna had nearly succeeded. The humans had either fled or turned to worshipping her to save themselves, her patron city quickly dwarfing all others. She’d begun hunting down the gods, taking their power in any way that she could. JP had been the first. The god of knowledge had been quickly stripped of his power and tossed aside, now a shell of his form self. While Carmilla had surrendered her kingship of her city and had been exiled with her power intact, Laura, stubborn as she was, had tried to fight. With JP, his human companion Laf, and Laura’s human city governor Perry, they’d worked to defend the city as best they could and relied on Laura’s temperamental oracle abilities to try and stem the storm. 

The minor god had tried her best but Laura had been no match for Inanna. 

Even as a major god, Carmilla, leaving her wandering in the desert to answer Laura’s plea for help at the last moment, couldn’t turn the tide. They’d lost the city and descended into the maze of caverns leading to the underworld, using the shifting tunnels to stay away from Inanna’s gaze as she burned Laura’s city to the ground. 

Somewhere in the mix, they’d lost Perry. 

Laura had been reduced to silence, wracked with guilt. The only thing that could even get her to respond were the handful of sheep that still followed Carmilla. A couple dozen where the Kaiserin of one of the greatest cities had once taken care of thousands. 

But it made Laura smile to give them silly names, she knit scarves from wool, and Carmilla always knew when Laura cried into their fluff. Back then, Laura didn’t have Carmilla to cry into anymore.

Carmilla was determined to do more than give Laura her sheep.

So she’d made the sword. The shepherd-queen had taken up a blade for the first time, intent on killing her mother. Banding together with JP and her sister Mattie, queen of the underworld, they’d created three talismans to bind Inanna in the one place she had no power. 

The underworld itself. 

Their magic almost hadn’t worked, not strong enough to combat with Inanna, until Laura pulled herself together just long enough to create a fourth talisman. So they bound Inanna up and threw her through the seventh gate to hang her on a fishhook and leave her to die. 

But there had been a cost. 

They’d lost Perry. No-one had anticipated that Inanna would take the girl with her, encasing her in the same bindings and dragging them down together. One last turn of the knife. 

Laf had been inconsolable. The two humans had been nearly inseparable for the decade Laura waged her war against Inanna. While she and Laura had nearly fallen apart during the fight with her mother and had needed to fight every second to stay together, Laf and Perry had fallen together. 

Laf had locked themselves away in a workshop not far from the gods’ cottage and hadn’t come out. They’d sworn that they’d find a way to free Perry without setting Inanna free. It had been nearly thirty years. A blink for a god. A lifetime for a mortal. 

Carmilla never mentioned that she knew Laura was keeping them young. Letting them work for as long as they needed.

Laura never mentioned that Carmilla still put the sword on every morning. They both had ways of coping. 

“They’ll be okay,” Carmilla said. 

Laura shook her head, something Carmilla knew she did to try and dry her eyes, “You don’t know that.”

“We’re getting there. They will too.” Carmilla said, she pushed the stew away and moved around the table to kneel in front of Laura, “We’re all going to be okay too, one day.”

Laura leaned her forehead against Carmilla’s, “But that’s only because I have you. If I didn’t. I don’t know. How. I wouldn’t. They don’t have.” She swallowed, “Maybe I should just let them go. Stop giving them magic. Force them to confront time again. I’m doing it all wrong.”

Carmila’s thumb came up to brush away a tear.

“Maybe you are,” Carmilla said and Laura hiccuped through a tear, “Maybe you’re doing it wrong and maybe you’re not. But I know that you’re trying. You’re trying so hard to help them and you’re beautiful when you try. The way you keep on trying. The way you never let the world turn you into me.”

The low bleating of the sheep outside filled the silence of the cottage. Calm and constant. 

A hundred fluffy guardians. 

“I tried to see the future,” Laura confessed, the words whispered across Carmilla’s lips. “I haven’t since… you know. But I couldn’t see anything.”

Carmilla brushed her fingers down Laura’s face to wrap around her neck, “We’re getting better.” She said, “But we’re not quite there yet. And that’s okay.”

Laura nodded. Then added, “Will you go see Laf tomorrow? Maybe they’ll listen to you. Or the sheep. They liked the sheep.”

“Everyone likes the sheep.” Carmilla said. Then attempting to make things lighter she added, “I’m pretty sure you only married me for my sheep.”

Laura’s smile despite the tears was everything, “You caught me. All I wanted in my life was a herd of sheep. You were just part of the bargain.”

“I think you got a bum deal, cupcake,” Carmilla said. “I’m more of a detriment than a benefit.”

Laura barely let her finish before kissing her. The words tangled in the kiss themselves, “Don’t say that. You’re worth a million sheep.” Quick and light. Just enough to transfer tear trails from Laura’s face to Carmilla’s. 

When the kiss broke, Carmilla said, “So what you’re saying is that I need to make sure the herd never grows to a million and one sheep.”

Laura pulled back but she was smiling as she shook her head, “Still unbelievable, Karnstein.”

Carmilla saluted, “still killing me, hollis.”

“You’ll go see Laf tomorrow though, right?” Laura repeated, “Please.”

If Carmilla ever found a day that she could say no to simple requests from Laura, it would constitute her next godly miracle. “Peggy’s strong enough to travel now. I’ll bring her and the lamb.”

“Little Steve!” Laura nearly clapped her hands, “How big is he now? Can I go see him when you get back?”

And so the night when on with no further talk of Inanna and missing friends and near apocalypses. 

Carmilla’s fingers still twitched. The sword still called. It was easy to ignore when there was a pillow under her head and her wife was curled up in her arms. 

It was impossible to ignore when she got to Laf’s the next day to find the door unlocked and a note nailed to the door. A hasty “I’m sorry. I need her back. Whatever the cost.” scrawled across the page. 

The ground shook beneath her feet and, as the eight pointed star that was her mother’s symbol shot into the sky, it was all Carmilla could do to not drop the lamb in her arms. She clutched the lamb to her chest with one arm and finally, after years of ignoring it, pulled the sword out once again.

Inanna was back.

**Author's Note:**

> I also just put out a [massive explanation of a giant, interconnected carmilla s3 theory](http://ariabauer.com/story-analysis-super-mega-huge-carmilla-theory/) where I combined every theory I could find into one huge theory. People seem to be quite liking it. Some of the ideas of this fic were pulled from there. If you have some time, I hope you'll read it. 
> 
> Once again, I can only thank you for all of your kudos and comments and [tumblr stop-ins](http://ariabauer.tumblr.com/). Cupcakes, you are the definition of supportive and I'm so thankful to you for helping me writing all of this.
> 
> This is the twelfth story of '30 Days of Cupcake' where I'll be posting a unique Carmilla fanfic every weekday for 30 days. Stay stupendous. Aria.


End file.
